Loneliness and unease has been creeping in under the extra winter covers and through the fogged up windows. Perhaps the unease comes from the fact that it is cold and snowing when it should be hot and sunny, and that I feel things are coming to an end. I wonder what it will be like when I get home. Will I have left a space, like an imprint, that I will just fit right back in to? Or will I have to forge a new space?
The loneliness is a strange one. We have met plenty of really friendly people here, and made friends, but those friendships are written into temporary contracts. Meanwhile I feel so removed from my friends back home.
But it is not all melancholy. There are beginnings. I am meeting up with an old friend over Christmas, and we are heading to South America for 7 months next year. I am just always so unprepared for melancholy moments in my usually joyful rush.
This blog has become such a navel gaze.
3 comments:
awe... super hugs sister.!
melancholy moments are signals of big things to come. use them as punctuation to take stock.
x
synchonimity . . . is that a word my parallel friend?
Its more like an overlap of your former self, that you fall back into. I wouldn't say that things stay the same or are the same, but they're not much different either.
It's sort of like coming back and being the shadow of your former self, or okay, being a bit less cynical, your old self being the shadow of your now glorious life :)
Awe... you guys rock. Sweet true words indeed.
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